Feeling disconnected …

I know that this comes and goes, especially for those of us who have dealt with depression and the like. This is one of those times for me. The weather is finally changing to warm (though I have heard it might get cold with possible snow showers later this week), and I have gone outside and soaked up the sun’s warmth. I feel though that I am walking in a fog, like I really am looking into a fishbowl which is my life.

I think that it may be that things are still up in the air for me and it seems that a lot of my so called friends and family are hoping it will fall through. (My mother made it slip that they blame me for loosing the house and not the circumstances surrounding it.  Go figure. They won’t tell me to my face, they will just dis me and not listen to what really happened.  Just like my cousin who ruined our car because he said I lied about sending my uncle the titles to the trailer and car. He never apologized when my uncle said he got them.) What they don’t realize is that I NEED this.  The schooling, being away from home and family, being in another world that is not the norm for here or me. Yes, I have my uppers now, though until I get the partials in the next couple of months, I will be having a balance problem with them. I start back to work at the city museum and gift shop at the end of May, (though again I enjoy the work, I have problems with being around people) and I have still to hear about the schooling and apartment.  It is a lot to think about and have hanging over head. I plan to take the math accuplacer test at the end of this month and I get my last MMR shot in a couple of weeks. I want this all to fall into place but know that it may not.  If I don’t do this I feel that I will never get to know what I could have done or been.

A double passing …

People may think it is strange I am mentioning both a fur-baby and a human passing in the same post, but since they passed in that sequence over the weekend I will talk about both in this blog.

The fur-baby started out in Michigan where my husband found her at a local shelter. She was the runt of a box of kittens someone had dumped off for adoption/disposal back in 1999. She traveled with him back to California and ended up with mom as her companion in 2004. She ended up traveling with mom to the Dakotas with two other cats and out lived them by many years. She was around 18 when she drew her last breath at 729 am on Sat.

Cleo and his wife were responsible for us moving from New Mexico to the Dakotas, and they became great friends. Cleo ran a real estate business and Carolyn was his partner in the business. Both worked hard in the community who didn’t accept strangers. He had heart problems and Diabetes, which cost him both legs and many trips to the hospital.  He was also an unpublished writer for which I hope will not remain so since Carolyn was editing his last book and I hope will have published soon. He passed in his sleep last night.

We will miss them both.

 

24 hours later…

Kotah is starting to calm down. For last night I kept him with me all night and blocked the stairs to where Sadie was sleeping. He first lay curled up on my pillow, then proceeded to work his way around my body. He woke me up several times last night. Sharp barks several times in the evening, followed by the wide grin and lolling tongue then curling up with a satisfied sigh when he knew I was awake again.
He eats all his food and tries to entertain himself with balls and pull toys. He, unfortunately tries to eat more than he should. Including Sadie’s bones.

New Addition

My hubster decided to look for a friend for Sadie, so he went on line. We found a Blue Heeler mix, male pup. Today we went to N. Dakota to see this pup. He lived in an apartment with a young couple whom we believe kept him in a cage while they worked. We got him home and introduced him to Sadie at Mom’s. They played a bit and seemed to get along … until we got home. He just won’t leave her alone. Right now, he is laying beside me in a semi calm while Sadie is stressing out. She will go up with Ed tonight and he will stay with me downstairs. I just hope that they will relax around each other soon! I need to go to work this weekend! Will post photos next week when I am done working.

“M” day

Well, tomorrow is it. My son is going to move to another town (over 3 hours away) to go to college. My hubster is taking him down so Thurs. he can settle into his apartment and get the feel of the area before Monday when he starts his classes.  Scary that at 26 he has finally decided on a set of courses and is starting a new life. All his life he has had either his grandmother or us within a 5 – 10 min. drive if there was a problem. Now he is officially going to be on his own. I pray he has the strength and courage to take on this challenge to better his life.  I know we will miss him as he starts college. I know that mom is already missing him because she cried today. He will be on his own in a life changing situation. I am hoping for the best for him on his “M” day!

Blues ~ The end of summer …

The summer is winding down and we will soon be closing the park down for the fall/winter season. At least the museum and gift shop part of the park. Next week my husband takes our son down to Rapid to set him up in his apartment and then the next Monday he starts his classes. I have another dental apt. the week of the 22nd so at least I will see him after he starts school before going home. He has not really been on his own for over a week and then he was not far from his grandmother’s house. Not sure how she will take it either. Not really happy about the distance even though at the same time I know this will be good for him. After Labor day I will be concentrating on my hand sketched Christmas cards and Jewelry sets which I am hoping to sell at the fall/winter(?) fair this year. Plus I have to set up all the cards I send out to family and friends as well! Didn’t get the chance to get all the Christmas stuff done while I had money coming in but hopefully my art studio will give me inspiration to actually get stuff done to sell! Anyway, hope your summer was great and will continue blogging til (at least) the end of 2016!