The Blahs

Feeling kind of melancholy tonight. Now that’s a word most people now a days don’t say. I guess I am bummed out that Ed gets to go with his friend to the cities and I don’t. I am stuck at home almost all the time lately. Indoors, with the dogs, mostly baking or cleaning. He says he misses me when he goes but I don’t see it. Nor do I think it will ever happen anymore until one of us is gone (more likely me). He says he wants me to have things like new shirts or skirts or what-have-you. Yet his idea of shopping for me? Getting “Fat” or “Old ladies” clothing (no offense to the older generation) which are on the 75% off racks which are also the crap  no one else wanted! Yes, this is a rant and I am feeling sorry for myself right now, but I can’t talk to him about it because he gets upset saying “we don’t have the money” or “If you don’t like what I get you tell me and go without!” I mean he really is getting worse over this last year. I get a one day job helping brand cattle and he screams “you are always gone when I need you!” problem is he never wants my help when I AM around!
He has always been this way, a type A, by-polar person with fits of uncontrollable rage when he doesn’t get things done the way he wants. The classic spoiled brat! I can usually handle it pretty well, just because I know why and when he does these things, but every so often (and 2014 is that time) it really gets to me and gets me down. So I apologize for this, and ask your indulgence as I post this in order to get it out of my system. I am tired of being stuck in the house with no way out, and lately that includes getting to see my mother who is only 7 blocks total away! (IE 4 blocks north and and 3 blocks west.)


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